It’s said that
harmony is greatly prized in Chinese culture – and
conflict is avoided at all costs. For instance one of Confucius’ sayings was that the only kind of conflict that should be allowed is the ‘conflict’ of an archery contest between two gentlemen. But even in that case, they way in which they ‘compete’ is to be civilised (see post on
Confucianism here)!
Master said, ‘There is no contention between gentlemen. The nearest to it is, perhaps, archery. In archery they bow and make way for one another as they go up and on coming down they drink together. Even the way they contend is gentlemanly.’
Analects III, 7
However, it’s not actually entirely true that conflict is to be avoided at all costs. Conflict – and the disharmony that comes from it – is actually very much allowed, but only in certian circumstances…
And this comes about because of the heirarchical nature of Chinese culture – another feature of Confucianism.The five
li, or key relationships in Chinese society were: emperor-subject, father-son, husband-wife, older-younger, friend-friend. And apart from the last one, those
li established strongly heirarchical relationships where the emperor ruled the subjects, the father ruled his sons, the husband his wife, and the older ruled the younger (see another post on
Confucianism here).
Of course, what is ideal is for the superior person to relate to the subordinate in a harmonious way – perhaps providing for them, instructing them, gently chiding them, as in the following diagram (borrowing from Transactional Analysis, see
previous post).
Older: Oh, you did a good job there. That’s so good. Next time make sure you get some sleep, okay?
Younger: Thanks, I’ll try my best.
But within this heirarchical framework, it is entirely acceptable for there to be top-down conflict. It is not really a serious breach of harmony for the older to lose their temper with the younger. It might cause a raised eyebrow, but it would be entirely understandable and forgiveable.
Older: How dare you do such a thing!
Younger: I’m sorry, I was wrong.
However conflict that exists outside of this heirarchical structure is definitely not allowed. For instance, if the younger was to be rude and demanding, that is a serious breach of the heirarchical structure. This would cause more than raised eyebrows – it would attract a loss of lien for the younger, and the condemnation of the community.
Younger: No, I’ve had it! I’m not listening to you any more!
Older: (outraged) What did you say!
Here is another diagram that is even worse than the previous one. This would be even more shocking in Chinese culture – because not only is the younger speaking out against the older, the younger is also treating the older in the way a younger person would be treated in Chinese culture, thereby denying him the status and respect that an older person would normally expect to be shown! In the eyes of the community, it wouldn’t have mattered what the older person did. The community would overlook that, and focus all its condemnation on the terrible rift in social fabric caused by the younger.
Younger: How dare you do such a thing!
Older: (stares incredulously) What did you say to me?
This all goes to show how important social heirarchy is in Chinese culture! Hsien Chin Hu, in her article "The Chinese Concepts of ‘Face’," recounts an incident when she happened to slap the face of a servant boy for dishonesty. She reflects that,
"it is bad manners to hit anyone, for a young lady to administer physical punishment to a male servant is altogether beneath her dignity. For a long time I had to endure the reproaches of my family and in the eys of the servants I had definitely ‘lost lien.’ No one had sympathy for me, but the boy went unreprimaded by the others."
Hsien Chin Hu, 48.
It is true that harmony is a highly prized value in Chinese culture. But from this we can see that Chinese culture isn’t about harmony per se, nor is it about absolute conflict avoidance. It’s actually harmony within a particular heirarchical social order, which does in fact allow conflict – but only in a certain direction!
[ PS: what do you think happens when the gospel comes to Chinese culture? ]
