Church as family – and the Chinese idea of family
1. The family metaphor of churchAt our recent pastoral team retreat, our pastoral team read and discussed Paul’s Idea of Community, by Robert Banks (Amazon). This was a great book to get us thinking about how well we use the term ‘church’, and how we go about ‘doing’ church nowadays.
In one of his chapters Banks takes a look af the metaphors that Paul uses for the church. He points out that there are a whole bunch of them: building/temple, field, plant, dough, body – each used to highlight different things about the nature of the church.
However he suggests that the predominant metaphor for church is actually the family / household one. The word ‘household’ itself only occurs infrequently, but once you take into account the associated words and expressions, its significance quickly becomes apparent. Banks writes that,
"So numerous are these, and so frequently do they appear, that the comparison of the Chiristian community with a ‘family’ must be regarded as the most significant metaphorical usage of all."
Robert Banks, Paul’s Idea of Community, 49.
The basis of this new family is the redeeming work on the cross. Not only are we saved from sin and judgment, we are saved to newness of life – and into a relationship with God that is so close, we are described as ‘heirs’, ‘sons of God’, and ‘children’. Astoundingly, we become part of God’s new family!
And this family metaphor comes out in a whole range of implications. In 1 John 2 for instance, we are to love the brothers – and if we don’t, it’s a sure sign that we don’t actually belong to this new family. We address each other as brothers and sisters – even though we may be unrelated. We give to fellow Christians who are in need – in much the same way we might give to flesh-and-blood family members who are in need!
2. The Chinese model of family
This family metaphor is quite a common one among Chinese Christians when we think and talk about the church. "We are not two congregations, but one big family!"
Confucianism highlighted the importance of the family in the social fabric of China. But it also strongly emphasised fitting into your proper role within the family. This involved a definite ordering of relationships – and the rule of parents over their chlidren, and of older siblings over younger siblings. Filial piety – which involved obedience and reverence for one’s parents – was the cornerstone of virtue. And even when children felt that parents were doing wrong, they were meant to gently disuade them – but if that was not possible, they were to submit with a smile (read more about filial piety here)!
That is the Chinese model of family – and you can see it still working itself out in how Chinese families tend to operate today. When the elderly patriarch decides that this is what the famiily should do, the whole family does it. When there is a difference between the son and the father, it is the father who wins. When there is a difference between the father and the grandfather, it is the grandfather who wins.
In 2007 CCCOWE conducted a worldwide survey of English pastors of Chinese churches, asking about burnout, job satisfaction, and the difficulties they faced working in Chinese churches. Here is one of the comments received:
"They (senior pastors) do defer passing the autonomous authority to the English leaders in fear of immaturity. This deffering could be for many years as the aging senior pastor and the board typically mimic most biological parents – never able to see thier children as mature enough to make the right decision."
Unidentified pastor, 2007 CCCOWE survey
The dynamics of relationships in a Chinese church is often just like that of a Chinese family. This can be a frustrating thing! But it’s actually quite understandable, if the Bible uses family imagery to describe the church, and if this is what Chinese families are like.
3. The family metaphor of church – but what kind of family?
But is it a right thing? What kind of family does Paul have in mind when he uses the family / household metaphor? Is it similar to the Chinese view of family? or are there significant differences that we need to preserve?
Robert Banks goes on to say that,
"The meeting of Christians with their God is more analogous to the encounter between adult children and their father, where they are able to relate to him, not only in the most intimate, but increasingly in the most mature fashion."
Robert Banks, Paul’s Idea of Community, 50.
While it may be common among Chinese Christians to think of church as ‘family’, what Paul has in mind is not actually the Chinese model of family. It’s not actually one where the emphasis falls on the heirarchy of older-younger, such that parents tell their children what to do and scold them when they step out of line! Instead it’s a family of adult children who relate to one another with care and love and openness – quite a different experience from what many of us are used to in our experience of family.
Not only that, Jesus openly declares his opposition to God’s people relating to one another through such heirarchies (Luke 22:25-27). This is not the way of the kingdom!
And so, if we are to adopt a biblical model of church, we actually have a lot of work to do. We have to unlearn cultural assumptions, and retrain ourselves to relate to one another in a biblical way!
[ PS: what was your experience of family? in what way was it similar or different to your experience of church? ]
Categories: Chinese culture
